You are who You are

Mercy Me: I will Praise You in this Storm

I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to you
And you raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You

But as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

I feel like this is my life-song right now. I feel completely humbled at the way God is moving in my life. I am very confused as to why, and I also feel a little hurt. . . Ok, very hurt. Because it is so overwhelming at the moment and all new to myself, I'm not ready to share my innermost thoughts, fears, and struggles. I feel like it is a very private thing to me right now. . . Is that the right way to go about this? I'm not sure, but like I said, it's all new and overwhelming. I don't know which direction to run right now, but I do not which direction to look. . . and that is up. I'm not sure I could possibly look any other direction right now. 

So why do I share this if it's so "private?" Well one, I don't feel like I have anyone to relate to in this, so this is a way for me slightly put my feelings out there. Second, I want prayer. I want warriors who can call on the angels for me. I don't want your sympathy, questions, or help right now. I'm being very stubborn. I just want deep, sincere prayer. . . for me, for my family, for our lives. 

And I want to Praise God in this storm. I cannot thank Him enough for my many undeserving blessings. I have the most beautiful, fun-loving little girl a mother could ask for. Of course, I'm a little bias, but I cannot thank God enough for this perfect little bundle, and I pray hard for her soul. I pray I will be the best guidance towards the truth for her. I pray that I will be disciplined woman of God as an example to her. I praise God for my loving husband, who has guided and provided for our family more than we need. I praise God for a roof over my head. . . I've complained about that roof for so long now, but thanks to this humbling experience, I must say that roof is far more than I deserve. I praise Him for my family and all the love they have relayed. I praise God for my close friends who live out such amazing Christian examples for me to observe. 

I praise God for the amazing year we had at Lawndale, and for the amazing Christian friends I gained during our time there. I cannot tell you how much each of you have meant to me. I so dearly want to go back to the play room at Candace's house, sit in that little red childrens' chair, and just let it all out. Or escape to Peru with the Ueltcheys to see God's hand at work. Or a quick trip to the gym to blow off steam! You girls are amazing, and I feel so blessed to have been a part of that uplifting network. 

Ok! Whew! I know that seems likes like a blog-post overload, and you are probably a little concerned about me (if you even continued to read after I threw my online pity party) at this point. I'm ok! Just squeeze me in your prayers! I would appreciate that.